Let's Talk About Swearing

Date published: Friday 16th of December 2016

You know, it's hard to imagine - but there was a time, not so long ago, when I NEVER swore.

I remember going to a client's place and one of the guys was winding me up for ages. He was cool and it was just some silly practical joke. Nothing bad. To be honest, I can't even remember what the nature of the joke was - but eventually, at a peak moment, I let out a mid level swear word. It was the one that starts with 'sh'.

Those who know me today won't believe me, but afterwards, the prankster ran outside and was dancing about in the car park - shouting 'HHAHAHAHAHA. I MADE DAVID SWEAR'.

This was about ten years ago. Before the dark times. Before... the Empire.

These days, of course, I swear like a drunken sailor. I realise that for some of you that will be less than ideal. I also realise that there are certain circumstances where it would be totally inappropriate to swear. But I'd like to explain - first of all - why I went for many years NOT swearing, and then I'd like to explain why I changed my policy.

Why I never swore

Words have power. Everything that you say is a reflection of what's coming from inside your mind. Yes! I do have a degree in stating the bleeding obvious! But let's think about this for a minute. You've heard it said that what you put out comes back to you. I believe that to be true and you don't need to be a raving hippy to agree. So, scientifically speaking - swearing is just some sound waves. No big deal, right? However, the key thing to remember is the source of those sound waves and in the case of swearing, it's sometimes a negative source. So, if you're putting out (quite literally!) negative vibes then that negative energy will probably come back to you - maybe even in greater quantities!

Why it's sometimes okay to swear

I wouldn't be surprised if there were some people out there (particularly clients) who read some of my swearing content (or heard me!) and thought, "this guy is a total scumbag." Now, I haven't received any complaints, fortunately, but I wouldn't' blame anyone for having that thought process.

Here's what caused the change:

I have a friend who has been in a deep depression for a long time. I'll spare you the full story but she's in a deep depression because of some serious problems that she's having at work. Let's just leave it at that.

Now, this friend of mine, has had a queue of people - offering to help. You name it, she has tried it. I even visited about a week ago and she walked in, holding a phone and CLEARLY taking a call from somebody saying "don't worry, pet..." and words along those lines.

So, here I was - joining the queue of well intentioned, self-appointed life coaches. NOBODY could get through to her. That is, nobody except me.

Eventually she finished her call. She told me about some of the problems and slumped down, resuming her massive depression. I decided to act. So, I told her something that she never expected. I told her:

"I think you should try meditation."

To that she started to get angry. No doubt thinking, "here he goes again." But I insisted and - asked her to switch on her laptop so that we could go to YouTube. I told her to turn up the volume and the meditation video started. As the guy started talking, in that soothing hypnotic voice, I could see my friend getting more and more annoyed. Then, something incredible happened. The voice on the video swore. Then he swore again and again... over and over. It was really unexpected and really out of place. Of course, I knew it was coming up but she didn't.

As the guided meditation session continued, with this guy now practically shouting out things like 'You're effing unstoppable!", my friend started to laugh. Then she laughed some more. Before you knew it were were both laughing our heads off. It must have been the first time she has laughed for about six months. She hugged me and she said, half laughing - but half serious,

"Thank you God, for bringing me my genius friend!

Now, I don't consider myself to be a religious person - but it meant something to me. Within two minutes I was out of there and off to visit my girlfriend to tell her about the whole story (YES Chico, it's all above board!). So, the point is, in this instance swearing was just a tool - a language tool. Now, I could perhaps attempt to go all academic and talk about how the 'F' word is an intensifier. However, sometimes simple language is nice and in this case swearing is what broke the spell.

I'm not saying that it's appropriate to swear all the time. It's not. However, if you ever do see me swearing then please just know that it's not me trying to act like something I'm not. Swearing is a tool that - if used properly - can be very powerful and sometimes, very positive.

Peace, love and fucking vegetables!


PS Here's the video that broke the spell...

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